When I was younger I didn’t like non-fiction. The whole concept about reading things based on reality sounded so boring to me. I couldn’t understand why anybody would want to read things about the real world when you could immerse yourself in worlds of fantasy and read about things that could never happen in real life.
The idea of “essay books” sounded ridiculous to me and I avoided them at all costs during my whole life (probably having to write them for school didn’t help much). The only non-fiction books that were acceptable in my mind were self-help books but other than that…just no.
It wasn’t until last week that I realized that somewhere along the way my preferences shifted without me noticing. For years I’ve been buying fiction books that sounded interesting and time after time I have failed to get past a few pages. My immediate thoughts were that it was either my ADHD making my life difficult as usual, or that I had yet to find the right book for me. Meanwhile, I continued to avoid the non-fiction section like the plague.
Some time ago I decided to start using light novels, comics and even children’s books in my language learning journey to expand my vocabulary and improve my reading comprehension skills. Once again, no matter how short the story was I simply could not finish it and while my target language is pretty difficult I couldn’t shake off the feeling that was not the reason I wasn’t finishing the books.
One of my main tricks for language learning, especially for new vocabulary acquisition and retention is sticking to words I will actually use in my own life and…let’s face it, as much as I would love to find a secret entrance to a magical world inside my closet where I could go on a epic quest, fight monsters along my mythical creature friends and use magic spells my realistic chances to actually do that are pretty slim.
After accepting this with a heavy heart I thought to myself, “Perhaps I need to read about things that feel closer to me and are more relatable to my own life to make this work.” And so, reluctantly, I headed over to the essay section in the bookstore.
A few days before I had heard about “picture essays” and I felt like that would be the best place for an essay noob like myself to start so I set out in search of an essay book!
I browsed copy after copy of completely adorable books (korean book designs are seriously next level aesthetic) until I came across one called “I’m Taking a Walk through my Day” by Korean writer and illustrator Dancing Snail. After skimming through a few pages I decided to buy it.
After a few busy days today I finally started the book. In the first blurb, called “Words About Having No Time”, the author tells the story of how she bought a gas detector online one day and how she proceeded to make up a bunch of excuses, mainly having no time, to avoid actually installing it.
As soon as I read that I thought “Oh yeah, that’s me.” Sometimes the old detector would magically start working again which was another perfect excuse. Finally, after one whole year of stalling she installed the detector and it only took her 3 minutes. Bitterly, she ponders how something that could’ve taken 3 minutes took her one whole year to get done.
Sound familiar? Well…ditto. Despite the subject matter being so trivial (and perfect for my language practice) I was hooked because it was painfully relatable.
I understood that I no longer want to escape my reality, I want to understand it. I want to read about the thoughts of common people who, like me, have struggles and frustrations and I want to know how they go about solving or at least coping with them. I want to take a peek inside people’s brains and understand how they think, what they feel.
Just today I came across a note by
that said “Be the Substack you want to read.” and I thought “Yep, I’m on it!” As obvious as it may seem, that made me realize that well… I don’t write fiction so that confirmed that I, in fact…like non-fiction now.Before I go want to share a fragment from “Words About Having No Time”:
I think about my words about having no time.
Words about having time to do other things but not “that thing”.
Words about having time to see other people but not “that person”.
Words about not wanting to give my time to certain things or certain people.
Words about having no time.
I’m not sure I’m trying to teach you anything in this specific post. I just wanted to share this small moment of self-discovery I had today but if there’s anything to take from this let it be a reminder that change is okay.
Try to make a conscious effort to see how you’ve changed over the course of your life because, sometimes, it’s not very obvious. Whether good or bad, change is something that needs to be acknowledged. If it’s good celebrate it, and if it’s bad then try your best to do something about it.
Wait, I…like Non-Fiction?